Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it is not always smooth or easy—especially when you’re also raising a young child. As a wife and mother, I have experienced firsthand how easy it is to get caught up in the daily routine of caring for a home, a family, and a growing child. Amid all this, it can be easy to forget that the foundation of a strong family lies in a strong marriage.
My husband and I are not perfect. We have disagreements, stressful days, and moments when we are both simply exhausted. But one thing we have always prioritized is spending quality time together. We believe that this is not a luxury, but a necessity—an essential part of maintaining love, connection, and understanding in our marriage.
In this post, I want to share how we make time for each other, how we manage parenting our son Aanas while still focusing on our relationship, and the little everyday things we do to grow stronger as partners.
Why Quality Time in a Marriage Truly Matters
When people hear “quality time,” they often imagine romantic getaways or candlelit dinners at expensive restaurants. While those things are lovely, quality time can be simple and meaningful moments spent with undivided attention. For us, it’s a few uninterrupted minutes in the evening, a quick cuddle in the morning before the day begins, or a meaningful conversation before we sleep.
These small moments help us stay emotionally connected. They remind us that we are more than parents or co-workers in the same household—we are best friends, lovers, and life partners. When we give each other time and attention, it creates a sense of closeness, comfort, and security. It helps us navigate through life’s highs and lows as a united team.
How We Spend Quality Time Together
Despite our busy schedules and parenting responsibilities, we have learned to make time for each other in simple and intentional ways. Here are some of the things we do to stay connected:
Tea-Time Conversations After Dinner
Every night after dinner, once the dishes are done and the house is quiet, we prepare a cup of tea and sit down together. It’s our special ritual. Sometimes we talk about serious things like our future plans, dreams, or parenting challenges. Other times, we simply laugh about something funny that happened during the day. These tea-time conversations help us unwind and connect, even if it’s only for 30 minutes.
At-Home Date Nights
Going out isn’t always possible with a child at home, so we create our own date nights. Once or twice a month, we plan an evening just for us. We might order takeout, watch a movie, or play a game together. Sometimes we cook something new together in the kitchen, just like we used to before we became parents. Even dressing up for a home dinner makes the night feel special.
Morning Walks on Weekends
If we’re lucky and Aanas sleeps in or visits his grandparents, we take advantage of the quiet and go for a morning walk. Walking together allows us to reconnect with nature, talk freely without interruptions, and start the day with clarity and positivity. These walks may be rare, but they are cherished.
Simple Acts of Togetherness
Whether it’s folding laundry side-by-side, preparing breakfast together, or even sitting silently while scrolling our phones—what matters is that we’re physically and emotionally present. It’s not always about deep conversations. Sometimes, just being near each other is enough to feel close and cared for.
How I Manage Our Toddler, Aanas, While Making Time for Our Relationship
Balancing parenting and marriage isn’t easy, especially when your child is at an age that demands constant attention and energy. Our son Aanas is five years old, full of energy and curiosity. He always wants to be around us, which we absolutely love, but it means that uninterrupted couple time is rare.
Over time, I’ve learned a few strategies to manage this balance:
Structured Bedtime Routine
We’ve worked hard to create a consistent bedtime routine for Aanas. Every night, we read him a story, brush his teeth, say prayers, and put him to bed by 9:30. It helps him sleep well, and it gives us the rest of the evening to ourselves. Having that window of adult time has been a game-changer.
Quiet Playtime Activities
During the day, if we feel the need to spend a little time together or talk privately, I engage Aanas in an activity he enjoys. Coloring books, puzzles, building blocks, or his favorite toys keep him busy and focused while we sneak in some couple time nearby. It also teaches him the value of independent play.
Short Screen Time with Purpose
We are mindful about screen time, but once in a while, we allow him to watch his favorite cartoon for 20–30 minutes. During that time, my husband and I talk, drink tea, or plan something together. It’s not about ignoring him—it’s about using small opportunities wisely while he’s entertained and happy.
Grandparent Support
Whenever we get the chance, we let Aanas spend a few hours or a day with his grandparents. They love spending time with him, and he enjoys their stories and snacks. Meanwhile, we get time to relax, go on a short date, or even just take a nap together. We’re very grateful for their help and presence in our lives.
How We Work on Our Relationship Every Day
A strong marriage doesn’t just survive on love—it thrives on intentional actions. We make daily efforts to maintain our bond, and while we don’t always get it right, we always try. Here’s what has worked for us:
Communication is the Foundation
We talk about everything—big and small. From what’s bothering us to what made us smile during the day, we share openly. We listen without judgment and speak without anger. Even when we disagree, we try to find common ground with respect.
Communication is not only about words. Sometimes it’s about listening with empathy, noticing body language, or understanding unspoken needs. We check in with each other emotionally, and that has made a huge difference in our bond.
Showing Appreciation
A simple “thank you” can go a long way. We don’t take each other’s efforts for granted. Whether it’s my husband fixing something in the house or me cooking a favorite meal, we always try to show appreciation. These little acknowledgments make both of us feel valued and seen.
Keeping Physical Affection Alive
Touch is an important part of love. We make an effort to hug, hold hands, or kiss each other every day. It doesn’t take much time, but it creates warmth and closeness that words sometimes can’t express. Even a gentle touch on the shoulder while passing by in the kitchen can mean a lot.
Celebrating the Small Moments
We don’t wait for anniversaries or birthdays to celebrate our relationship. Sometimes, we celebrate a good day, a finished task, or even surviving a tough week. Lighting a candle, sharing a sweet treat, or writing a little note to each other keeps the joy alive.
Letting Go of Perfection
We’ve accepted that our relationship will have ups and downs. We don’t expect perfection from each other. Instead, we focus on learning and growing together. We apologize when needed, forgive quickly, and don’t hold grudges. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
Our Journey Is Still Unfolding
We are still learning, evolving, and growing—both as individuals and as a couple. There are days when everything goes right, and days when nothing does. But we’ve learned to hold onto each other through it all. We’ve learned that marriage is not just about being happy together, but about facing life together.
Being intentional about our relationship doesn’t take away from our roles as parents—it enhances them. When we’re connected, calm, and emotionally fulfilled, we are better parents to Aanas and better partners to each other.
Final Thoughts: Choosing Each Other, Every Day
In a world that constantly demands our attention, choosing your partner—over and over again—is a powerful act of love. My husband and I may not have all the answers, but we know this: we’re in this together. Through the chaos of parenting, the pressure of responsibilities, and the changing seasons of life, we will continue to make time for “us.”
So, to every couple navigating marriage and parenthood—know that it’s okay to take a step back and say, “We matter, too.” Your relationship deserves care, time, and attention. And your child will grow up seeing what love, teamwork, and emotional intimacy truly look like.
That, in itself, is a beautiful gift to give your family.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q1: How often should couples spend quality time together when they have young children?
There’s no strict rule, but consistency matters more than frequency. Even 15–30 minutes of focused time together each day can strengthen your bond. Try to carve out a little space in your daily routine—whether after bedtime, early in the morning, or during naptime.
Q2: What if we’re both too tired to spend time together after parenting duties?
It’s completely normal to feel exhausted, especially with a toddler in the house. The key is to redefine what “quality time” means. You don’t have to be doing something special—just sitting together quietly, sharing a warm drink, or lying next to each other and talking for a few minutes helps maintain connection.
Q3: How can I involve my child in a way that still allows for couple time?
You can engage your child with independent activities like puzzles, crafts, or a favorite cartoon for short periods. Explain that “Mom and Dad need a little chat time,” so your child slowly learns to respect that boundary. It’s healthy for children to see their parents making time for their relationship.
Q4: What if we don’t have support from extended family or babysitters?
In that case, planning becomes essential. Work with your partner to schedule couple time around your child’s routines—nap time, bedtime, or while they’re at school. At-home date nights or even a shared hobby after your child sleeps can be great alternatives.
Q5: Is it selfish to prioritize our marriage while raising a child?
Not at all. A healthy marriage sets a strong emotional foundation for your child. When children grow up seeing love, teamwork, and respect between their parents, they feel more secure and emotionally balanced. Taking care of your marriage is taking care of your family.
Q6: How do you deal with disagreements in your relationship while still keeping the connection strong?
Disagreements are part of every marriage. We try to stay respectful, listen without interrupting, and avoid harsh words. After the disagreement, we make an effort to reconnect—even if it’s just a gentle touch or short apology. The goal isn’t to avoid conflict, but to handle it with love and maturity.
