The Day That Broke Me
Motherhood has so many beautiful moments – those first steps, sleepy cuddles, sweet giggles – but there are also days that feel devastatingly hard. Days when you lose your patience. Days when you question your worth as a mother.
One such day will forever stay with me. It wasn’t a big event. No major crisis. Just a normal weekday that slowly, painfully spiraled into one of the lowest points in my parenting journey. A day I felt like I completely failed.
But strangely enough, it also became the day I learned the most.
A Chaotic Morning That Set the Tone
It began like any other hectic morning. My toddler, Aanas, woke up earlier than usual. He was cranky, hungry, and wanted all of my attention at once. I, on the other hand, had barely slept the night before. My head throbbed, and my to-do list for the day already felt overwhelming.
Breakfast wasn’t ready. My phone kept buzzing with reminders. Laundry sat unfolded. And then came the moment that triggered everything – a bowl of cereal knocked over onto the clean floor.
Normally, I would’ve taken a deep breath and cleaned it up. But that morning, I snapped.
I yelled. Loudly.
Over spilled cereal.
I could instantly see his face change. Confused. Hurt. Scared. He burst into tears, and I just stood there, frozen. Guilt rushed in like a wave I wasn’t ready for.
The Guilt That Took Over
After cleaning up the mess (both literal and emotional), I excused myself to the bathroom and locked the door. I sat on the edge of the tub, completely defeated.
In that moment, every negative thought crowded my mind:
- “You’re a terrible mom.”
- “You should’ve handled it better.”
- “He’s just a child. What’s wrong with you?”
Tears rolled down my face as I silently cried, not just because I yelled, but because I let my overwhelm become his burden.
It was just one moment – but it felt like I had failed at the most important job in the world.
What Happened Next Shifted Everything
Later that day, after hours of trying to do better, I sat on the couch, still filled with guilt and sadness. My son came over with his blanket, climbed into my lap, and rested his head on my chest.
He looked up and asked,
“Mama, you happy now?”
That question hit me hard. He didn’t hold a grudge. He didn’t push me away. He just wanted his mom to be okay.
That little moment reminded me of something profound:
Children are forgiving. They don’t need perfect mothers. They need safe ones.
The 5 Lessons I Took from That Day
That one hard day gave me some of the most important lessons of my motherhood journey so far. Lessons I now carry with me every single day.
1. Perfection Isn’t the Goal – Presence Is
As moms, we often put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. To be endlessly patient, organized, calm, fun, loving – all the time. But real motherhood is messy. And perfection isn’t only unrealistic – it’s impossible.
What matters is being present. Showing up, even when we’re tired. Trying again after we mess up. Letting our kids see us grow and heal too.
They don’t remember perfection. They remember connection.
2. Apologizing to Your Child Is Powerful
After I lost my temper, I sat my son down, looked into his eyes, and told him I was sorry. I explained in simple words that Mama was tired and made a mistake – but it wasn’t his fault.
He listened. Then he hugged me.
That moment taught me that saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t make you weak – it shows strength. It teaches children that mistakes are okay and repair matters.
And when they see us take responsibility for our actions, they learn to do the same.
3. Burnout Affects Your Parenting
That day, my patience ran out not because I didn’t love my child – but because I wasn’t caring for myself. I hadn’t rested properly. I was overstimulated. I had no time for myself.
Motherhood is 24/7. But you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Since that day, I’ve learned to carve out small moments to recharge – even if it’s just ten minutes of quiet before bed, a cup of tea in silence, or asking for help without guilt.
Your mental health matters. Not just for you, but for your child too.
4. Emotional Triggers Need Healing
My reaction that day didn’t just come from the mess – it came from unhealed emotional triggers. I grew up in a home where anger was loud and scary. And on that hard morning, I realized I was repeating patterns I promised I’d break.
Since then, I’ve started reflecting more on why certain things upset me and how I can respond better.
Journaling. Breathing techniques. Even therapy.
Understanding yourself as a mother means understanding the child inside you, too.
5. Every Day is a New Chance
I used to think one bad day made me a bad mom. Now I know:
Every day is a new beginning.
Even when we mess up, our children give us the chance to begin again. What matters is how we grow from those hard moments.
And that’s what motherhood is – a continuous cycle of learning, unlearning, and loving unconditionally.
Why I’m Sharing This
I hesitated to write this blog. It’s not easy admitting that I yelled. That I cried. That I felt like a failure.
But I’m sharing it because I know I’m not alone.
There are so many moms out there having silent breakdowns, feeling shame, comparing themselves to highlight reels online. And I want to say this to you:
You are not a bad mother. You are a human one.
And that is more than enough.
You’re Still a Good Mom If…
- You yelled today, but you also hugged them after.
- You gave screen time so you could breathe.
- You cried in the shower and then wiped your tears to keep going.
- You questioned your strength but still made dinner.
- You apologized and promised to do better.
You’re still a good mom. Always.
What I Do Now When I’m Overwhelmed
That day became a turning point. Now when I feel like I’m getting triggered, I try to follow this small practice:
1. Pause.
I take a breath. Even if it’s just 3 seconds. I don’t react immediately.
2. Check myself.
Am I hungry? Tired? Holding on to other stress? Most of the time, it’s not about the spilled cereal.
3. Reset the moment.
Sometimes we both need a do-over. I say, “Let’s start again,” and we try to smile or laugh.
4. Repair when needed.
If I do lose my cool, I own up to it. Kids are incredibly forgiving. But they need that repair to feel safe again.
5. Ask for help.
Whether it’s texting a friend, stepping outside for fresh air, or asking a partner to take over for ten minutes – I remind myself that needing help doesn’t make me weak. It makes me wise.
FAQ
Q: What should I do if I lose my temper with my child?
Take a break to calm down. Then return to your child and acknowledge your behavior. Use age-appropriate language to explain what happened and offer a sincere apology. Let them know your love is always steady.
Q: How do I stop feeling like a failure as a mom?
Remind yourself that failure is a feeling, not a fact. Every mom has hard days. Reflect on what you’ve learned, adjust, and keep moving forward. You’re learning as you go – and that’s enough.
Q: Why do I feel so triggered by small things?
Often, it’s not the moment itself, but the emotional baggage we carry. Stress, exhaustion, and unresolved childhood experiences can all make small things feel massive. Therapy, mindfulness, or journaling can help.
Q: Is it okay to take breaks from my child?
Absolutely. Taking breaks is essential for mental and emotional health. You’re still a loving, devoted mom if you step away to protect your peace.
Q: Will my child remember the bad moments?
Children remember patterns, not isolated incidents. What they truly remember is how safe and loved they felt overall. If you repair after a rupture, you’re teaching resilience, not harm.
Final Words: Grace Over Guilt
Motherhood is sacred, yes – but it’s also stretching. Exhausting. Emotional.
There will be days you feel like you’ve messed up completely. Days when guilt wants to swallow you whole. But don’t let it.
Let grace rise instead.
Grace that says, “I’m still learning.”
Grace that allows you to apologize, reset, and grow.
Grace that reminds you – you’re enough, even in your lowest moment.
You’re not failing.
You’re becoming.
And that is a beautiful, brave thing.
